A New Perspective on Medical Aid in Dying — Thanks to My Dog, Bella
Last week we had to say goodbye to our precious 14-year-old Golden Retriever, Bella. It’s never an easy decision, but we knew it was time. We were lucky enough to have Paws Into Grace come to our home, and we all surrounded Bella with love as she crossed from this world to the next.
Almost immediately, the condolences poured in. Everyone who knew Bella, loved Bella. She was pure sweetness and light — always wanting to be involved, she could never get enough love, attention or affection. If there was a human nearby, she was there for pets and cuddles.
And as I lay awake that night, something struck me. I’ve never once heard a story about putting a dog to sleep met with anything but compassion and empathy. There’s no judgement. No questioning the decision. It’s simply understood as an act of love.
Yet when the conversation turns to Medical Aid in Dying (MAID) for humans, the tone shifts. Suddenly there’s shame, fear, or judgment.
Why is it that we can humanely end a pet’s suffering — a decision made by the owner, not the one actually in pain — and it’s universally accepted, but when a living, breathing person chooses to end their own pain and suffering, it’s controversial?
I think the answer lives just under the surface: fear. Death is the most anxiety-provoking subject imaginable, and the idea of “choosing” it makes people deeply uncomfortable. But if we can make that decision for our pets, why can’t we honor that choice for ourselves? Especially in the face of illnesses like ALS, cancer, or organ failure — diseases that can mean a long, painful goodbye not just for the patient, but for everyone who loves them.
Most of us would rather not think about it. We avoid it, hoping if we don’t think about it, it will never come knocking at our door. But let’s face it - death is the only guarantee in life. And statistically speaking, 80–90% of us will die from some kind of disease progression. Which means most of us will know, in advance, what’s likely to end our lives. If that path could involve suffering, isn’t it worth at least knowing what our options are?
Right now, MAID is legal in California, Colorado, Delaware, Hawai‘i, Maine, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, Washington and the District of Columbia. (Each state has its own rules, of course.)
If we can give our pets the gift of a humane and peaceful passing, one free of judgement or shame, shouldn’t we at least be able to have the conversation about offering our loved ones — and ourselves — the same?
If this stirred something in you, you’re not alone. These are tender, human questions — and they deserve space to be explored. At The Everafter Collective, we help people talk openly about death, dying, and what matters most in the time we have.
Curious what Medical Aid in Dying actually looks like where you live? Explore our MAID resources below, or get in touch with us to discuss your thoughts and feelings on this subject:
Death with Dignity - State-by-state guides and FAQs about laws and eligibility in the U.S.
Compassion and Choices - Advocacy, patient stories, and up-to-date legislative maps.
The Hastings Center - A thoughtful, balanced look at the ethical and medical questions surrounding MAID.